Namesake
by R. Tom Mato
Summary: Ch62spoilers2nd POV Kyou. Years after his confinement, Kyou gets an interesting visitor.


Title: Namesake

Author: R. Tom Mato

Rating: PG

Genre: Future/Angst (anyone who knows me still surprised by this? ¬¬)

Characters: Kyou

**Namesake**

Honda...Tohru...

The name is a fuzzy memory, clinging to the edges of remembrance. If you blink, it will fall into the same shadow as all the other things that you've forgotten. This is no doctor's spell but the decomposing of everything you hold dear as it is replaced with four walls and a single window you refuse to go near or even try to open. It was locked a long time ago.

At first all you would do was remember. Days and nights passed by as you relived every single memory, good and bad. You'd been through your life more times than you would care to, seen more blood, become that _thing_ again and again because people keep stealing your bracelet even though they _know_ what happens.

Then things began changing. Memories became faded and frayed, like clothes that had been through the wash a thousand times. You suddenly couldn't remember what dress she was wearing that day or what that damn rat said to piss you off this time, and the more you try the more it crumbles away under your fingertips.

Now all you can remember is feelings. The anger and hatred, the fear and loneliness, and...somewhere a warmth and love that brought tears to your eyes because you couldn't figure out what it was and you wanted it so badly it made your chest tight and your throat close up so you couldn't breathe.

Honda Tohru only appears in your dreams now, and when you wake up the words are on your lips.

"What did you say?"

There is a face before yours, blurred because your eyes haven't adjusted yet and frankly, you tend to like it that way. However, everything sharpens and the doctor's there, staring down at you with a shocked expression.

"Hnn?"

"Just now, what did you say?"

He's talking to you...that's new. Usually he just comes in while your sleeping and leaves right after you wake up. Even She doesn't talk to you. She hasn't visited in a long time, either. Maybe She faded as well.

"K-Nekotsuki, what did you say?"

You stare at his graying hair and his wrinkling face, part of you thinking that he shouldn't look like this so soon.

Your face screws up as you try to remember, expression twisting into a grimace until the words fall from your chapped lips. "Honda Tohru."

If you could remember what sorrow looked like, you'd recognize it passing over the old doctor's face now. His eyes close and his breath comes out in a sigh. "Never say those words again." he tells you in a pleading whisper.

"Why?" you ask as he starts putting cold metal things away into a small black bag.

"Because He knows," he answered simply. "And He will not like hearing it."

"He..?"

But the doctor stands and turns away, leaving you even more alone than when you fell asleep. You mull over his warning for a long time, forgetting to eat, until you fall asleep again.

"Is it really in here? It is, isn't it?"

"If you're not feeling well enough we can always come back later."

"No, I want to see it now! I'm nearly twelve and you haven't let me see it once!"

The child's shrill voice echoes inside your mind, drawing you once again out of that blissfully unaware state. His footsteps are loud in the hall, running ahead of the heavier pair a few yards behind. They stop outside your door and there's a sharp cry of 'wait!' a split second before the door is yanked open. You hiss, the dim light of the hallway piercing your eyes, your mind, and turn away on the futon. You pull your blanket over your head but it's torn away instantly to reveal a dark set of eyes wide as plates staring down at you.

You know those eyes.

A young man appears behind him and pulls the boy back as if from a hungry flame. His brown eyes are narrowed but his expression is otherwise slack, as though he'd spent so much time in life glaring that his muscles wont work any other way. He's younger than you are, or maybe older? You broke the mirror in the bathroom so many times that they stopped replacing it and time is just an illusion in your house.

"Tohru-san!" he yells, voice high from panic. "I told you to wait for me! He's dangerous, he could hurt you."

The boy's empty eyes are still locked on yours as he replies in a calm voice. "He doesn't look dangerous, see? He's in awe of my presence, just like everyone else."

"Yes..but..."

"You said he was a monster," the boy's gaze shifts from yours and you feel like a cable has just been severed inside. "He's just an old man like you."

"I'm not-!" he starts to object, then sighs and steps back. "He's the Cat, he'll transform just like the rest of us as long as he has his bracelet on."

"And without it?"

The man folds his arms over his chest. "Then he takes the true form of the monster that he is."

The boy begins to walk toward you again, socked feet padding softly across the floor. His eyes pin you again with that dull stare and you just lay there, not having moved since you saw him.

"Tohru-san, don't get too close, please." the young man pleaded.

This time the name catches in your mind and you sit up. The boy nearly stumbles back in surprise and the man is between you two in an instant.

"Tohru?" you ask, squinting as you lean forward. "Honda Tohru?"

The man nearly loses his balance at your question, but the boy has a completely different reaction. The lifeless black orbs suddenly brighten and his tiny body tackles you to the floor, thin-fingered hands trying to crush your windpipe. It's ineffective but uncomfortable and you try not to panic as you grit your teeth and make your own hands reach up to the sleeves of his kimono.

"Never say that name!" the boy screams, his voice rising over the desperate pleading of the young man as he leapt forward as well, prying him off of you. "She's a bad person! Never say that name in front of me! She tried to hurt my mother! She's bad!"

The shock you feel is nothing compared to the confusion. In your heart you knew that this couldn't be that Tohru your fragmented mind made up in your dreams, but you had hoped. Now the doctor's warning made sense; this was the 'He' that he had mentioned. Your entire being cries out with him so near; a strange mixture of longing and hate. It's been a long time since you felt this way.

"I forbid it!" the child was still raving. "You are mine and I forbid you to ever say her name again!"

He finally begins to calm down, the young man's grip around his waist keeping him just far enough from you that his outstretched fingers, grabbing and clawing at the air, are out of reach. As his voice lowers and finally fades, he looks out at his hands and splays his fingers as wide as they'll go.

"I touched it," he murmurs, a look of shocked disgust appearing. "I touched it! Hiro, I want to take a bath! I don't want it's filth on me!"

Your mouth falls open, not at the comments but at the sudden change in the child's mood. He's holding his hands as far away from his body as possible as the young man scoops him up into his arms without a word of protest. Just as he carries his burden out into the hallway, you hear him utter 'baka neko' before he disappears from view. The front door slides open and shuts a moment later; the house is silent again. They left the hall lights on and it's far too bright in here for your taste. You can see yourself if it's bright and you don't want that shame.

Shakily, you get to your feet and walk the length of the bedroom. The state of your humble abode is poor, dust in corners creeping out to cover the floor and sparse furniture in the living room you can see from the door frame. This is your life and as you slide your feet across the floor your mind supplies you with images of Her. Not the one of your dreams but the one of your nightmares, with angry dark eyes boring right through to your soul as She closes the door behind Her, trapping you here. That boy had Her eyes.

You flick the light switch, plunging everything back into darkness and your eyes burn again at the change. Not willing to wait for them to adjust, you stumble your way back to your room and close the door behind you.


End file.
